physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
