Porn is love you can see.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
