Who did Billy Mays play for?
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Randomize
