ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
