and next time when you feel me up, do it right
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize