I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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