then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
We are two peas in an std pod
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Randomize
