So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Randomize
