Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
