at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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