she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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