we have pet lesbian snakes
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
