I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
