Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
