I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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