He is an equal opportunity slut.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
