tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
