i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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