Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(585): View more from New York

This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?

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(614): View more from Ohio

That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life

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(815): View more from Illinois

Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.

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(914): View more from New York

vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes

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(850): View more from Florida

I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.

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