Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
