I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
