we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
i out mim tonsoeep
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize
