D3 body, D1 cock
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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