I wish I could teleport
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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