Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
