So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
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