just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize