Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I want her autograph on my taint
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
