May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize