I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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