i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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