It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
i wish my penis had a tongue
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
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