It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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