It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
