okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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