Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
