Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Randomize
