I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I think my vagina is haunted
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
