big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
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