I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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