You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
