I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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