I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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