Sry I called you an 8
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
