now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Everything about him screamed your future.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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