We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
