This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Two words: nipple clamps
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