college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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