Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Randomize
