She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Randomize
