There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
