? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize
