I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
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