he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
