1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
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