he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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