3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
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