just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize