The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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