I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
