You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
