Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
