We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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