we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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