Are we in a gay sports bar?
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
