To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
